Saviour-V teleports in...

Sometimes, it takes time to get through to a few people. Considering that we've been exposed to a negative world for the bulk of our lives, most of us would be quite wary of anything that we don't know much about.

In as much as I dislike Donald Trump's show, The Apprentice, I have to salute the man for offering the opportunity, albeit to a select few, for some people to vie for the coveted position of high-calibre sub-ordinate.

Of course, there were other things that seemed to make it somewhat doubtful, but I'll mention my quotes on that show some other time.

GemWing teleports in, her eyes closed as she speaks...

You're still a bit cross and irritated about the attitudes of some people. To quote you, "Most people couldn't even see a potential opportunity if it were dangling right in front of their faces.".

GemWing opens her eyes and grins momentarily at Saviour-V, as he casts a slightly tired glance in her direction...

Indeed. Some people seem to be too content with what they've got in their lives, preferring to seek security over freedom. Worse still, when offered the opportunity to gain freedom, they reject it, believing that they'd still be able to achieve it by remaining within what they know.

And some people seem to have quite a laid-back attitude about life as well. Those that go by the adage "que sera, sera," or "Kun, fayakun," or anything similar.

If I remember right, you used to subscribe to those beliefs. It's taken you quite a while to change your mindset over time, albeit slowly. Why, might I ask, DID you change?

A few things change a person's beliefs over time:

1. The books that a person reads. I've had the opportunity to read a few choice books, such as Zig Zaglar's "See You At The Top" and Robert Kiyosaki's "Rich Dad's Business School: For People Who Like Helping People". I've read both editions of the latter, and I've got a bias towards the 2nd edition, due to its clarity and improved information.

2. The tapes that one listens to. Apart from my usual musical repertoire, I've managed to sneak in some time listening to the words of many of my business partners who are involved in the business I'm in. Many of which have become successful millionaires, but have still managed to retain their hearts.

3. The people that a person meets. Reflecting on my past, I was quite ANTI-SOCIAL, and I used to consider human emotions as a mere waste of chemicals.

However, having met the many successful business partners in my business, especially one who is merely 2 years my senior, I began to realize that being a hermit wasn't going to get me much leeway.

Sure, I still have my anti-social moments, even now, but I realize now, albeit slowly, that meeting new people does have its good points.

Sure, I can still swear when I'm under stress, although I'd say that I've tried to increase my patience levels a bit. Besides, when you think about it, swearing's nothing more than a few words that only serve to foul up the moods of you and everyone else around you.

Of course, some may argue with you, asking, "What is all that good for? You're merely just following the steps laid by others!"

Good point there, GemWing. You've been listening quite well.

Sure, some people will often say, "Shit happens, wipe it up, and shit some more." or anything similar. And I can bet that these people have pretty much blazed their own paths in life, taking a lot of pains and aches along the way. A few of these are quite successful people, I know. But surely, it must've taken a long time for them to achieve their goals in life.

Let me tell you all a brief story, if you're interested.

Before Mount Everest was scaled by Sir Edmund Hillary, and his Sherpa guide, Tenzing Norgay, back in 1953, two other climbers had attempted to scale the mountain, only to give up 300 feet (about 90 metres) away from the summit.

Had it not been for the efforts of those previous climbers, the famous duo would never have climbed Everest in the first place. As it turned out, even after many hardships and near-fatalities, the two finally stood on the summit of Everest, setting an achievement for many others to follow.

Even though he isn't an active mountaineer these days, Sir Edmund tirelessly works on many humanitarian projects in Nepal, and has been responsible for establishing a number of schools and medical facilities there.

Because of his efforts, many people are now able to climb Everest with much less effort than he did way back in 1953. Sure, you could still climb Everest with the bare necessities, like he did, but then again, why would you?

Better to gain the most experience within a shorter time period than a long one.

And the best experiences aren't always your own. Learn from others' experiences, especially the experiences of very successful people, and your chances of success will be enhanced many times over.

GemWing nods, before teleporting out...

Anyway, just before I conclude tonight's item, spare a thought for those affected by the tsunamis across Asia. At this moment, over 80,000 have died. A few days ago, it seemed like the deaths would end at about 20,000, but the threat of disease looms over this whole thing.

I'm still a bit shaken by all this, since I nearly lost one of my closest friends to this disaster. If anyone can still afford NOT to care, then try to generate some. This whole thing has been quite an unexpected calamity.

Saviour-V teleports out...

Current Music: Primal Eyes, from the Parasite Eve soundtrack.

Saviour-V teleports in...

May Allah have mercy on us all. While I was busy enjoying myself at a wedding banquet on the 26th, an undersea earthquake occurred close to Indonesia, sending several tsunamis all over Asia!

CNN's recent report on the whole episode.

I nearly lost an old childhood friend when the killer waves hit Phuket.

And I don't know how my other relatives in the northern shores of Penang are doing. At this moment, our country's death toll has reached 53.

I don't want any further deaths.

Saviour-V teleports out...

Saviour-V teleports in...

Nothing irritates you more than trying to put up a new blog post, only to have it disappear when your connection fails.

I'm posting up this junk right now, until I can re-find what I was supposed to blog about today. Sorry.

Saviour-V teleports out...

Saviour-V teleports in...

Things have become QUITE mundane off late. Well, almost everything. Met a few friends, and picked up some more information regarding the business I'm in.

Expansion into Indonesia this April 2005, and India later on in that year, followed by Russia in 2006. Ambitious plans? Perhaps, but looking at the company's past successes, plus the number of millionaires and multi-millionaires that have been generated over the past 20 years, I believe I'm in the right place.

If I pick up the pace much faster than my current progress, I believe I'll be in their ranks soon. 4 to 5 years, approximately. Rome wasn't built in a day, anyway.

I've also noticed that I've gotten a bit more daring off late. Risky move, but they say that many things shape a person, the environment being one of them. Of course, the decision to change has to come from within, and I'm doing that, albeit a bit slowly.

GemWing teleports in...

You rarely call me out these days, Saviour-V. Part of you is changing, yes, but there's another part of you that hasn't changed much, and I hope it stays that way.

Rest assured, GemWing, I haven't really forgotten you.

Ahh, but you seem to be enjoying the company of many a girl these days. Are you really looking for a suitable host body for me, or have you given up hope?

GemWing smiles at Saviour-V's obvious discomfort at that last phrase....

No, I've not given up hope at all. The idea is to choose wisely. Besides, the last thing I need is someone who does not have what it takes to be you in real life.

Knowledge, combat ability, plus a multitude of other skills. You keep saying that, Saviour-V, but how often does someone come up with all those traits?

Saviour-V grins back at GemWing, who now has a questioning look on her face...

For someone who starts out with all that, it's impossible. But such people can be trained to possess those abilities, given time, patience, and their hearts.

And how do you manage to get their hearts into the whole plan, might I ask?

That part, you needn't know. Just trust me, GemWing. I won't let you down.

GemWing laughs momentarily...

You'd better NOT. Besides, I'm tied to you, so any failures you make will reflect back heavily on both of us.

GemWing teleports out (or does she?)...

I wonder how I manage to put up with her attitude sometimes.

Suddenly, Saviour-V gets knocked down by a Platina Boomerang, courtesy of a rather annoyed GemWing...

I HEARD THAT!

GemWing's Platina Boomerang returns to its mistress, who teleports out for real...

Typical. Say your mind, and your Guardian Spirit throws a curveball!

Saviour-V picks himself off the ground, and dusts himself a bit...

Ahh, well. C'est la vie. Such is life.

Saviour-V teleports out...

Saviour-V teleports in...

From the look of things, it seems that things have become more convoluted on the international front:

1. Flash file concerning the Pentagon Assault, back on 9/11.

2. Comments on the 9/11 Pentagon Strike.

Probably old news, but somehow, things just don't add up. Some reports said 64 people were on board, others said 189. Odd...

Besides, a passenger plane the size of the "Boeing 747" that "supposedly" crashed into the Big P SHOULD have left a lot of residue. And NOT a small, focused hole.

Something is well and truly screwy. I don't like it.

Saviour-V teleports out...

Saviour-V teleports in...

Just re-testing a few things again. Looks like I just needed to select my formatting options a bit more carefully.

GemWing teleports in a moment later...

Sometimes, you amaze me, Saviour-V. At one point, you can just give up on something, only to return to it with renewed strength after something good comes up.

Yep. Let's hope that I don't need to do too much from here on out.

GemWing teleports out a moment later...

Well, now there's some colour in here. Need to adjust things a little bit more for GemWing, but you'll spot me like this from here on out, hopefully.

Saviour-V grins, and teleports out...

Who would have thought?

Last Thursday, an important event of sorts occurred. And yet, it felt less satisfying than my expectations.

Perhaps I really need to get to know more people, especially the girls...^_^;;

Not that the ones here are interested, though....

Just then, GemWing teleports in, and coughs her disapproval of Saviour-V's statement...

A-hem!

...except for ONE GemWing. Yes, I didn't forget you.

Whatever happened back then could be best summed up by Charles Dickens's words from "A Tale Of Two Cities"....

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," right? Yep, my sentiments exactly.

I'm not revealing what that event was, but let's put it this way: It shouldn't have occurred, but it did, and it opened my eyes to a few other things in life.

If I were to deny its occurrence, I'd be denying the experiences I gained from it. On the flip side, acknowledging its occurrence is as if I had no remorse for it.

A truly double-edged sword.

Part of you is glad that it occurred, and another part is regretting that it had occurred in the first place. Am I wrong?

Not at all. There's a few secrets in Life that I must keep, and this is one of them. But I will never deny that event's occurrence, for it did happen, and I have few regrets.

Just fight on, Saviour-V. Do what you believe is right.

GemWing teleports out...

For once, I actually believe so.

Anger does many things to people. Today was one such episode.

Even for someone who took an oath not to use his fists unless necessary, I nearly found myself breaking that oath.

In other words, I'm still simmering after that whole episode. Had I acted blindly, someone would've become a bloodied corpse on the college's floor. And said insolence just bombarded my phone with enough vitriol to finance an acid-making factory.

I'm withholding her name for the moment, although I'm tempted to bring it up. If anyone's willing to discuss anger management techniques, please bring them up.

Usual channels. Tag-board or comment-box. Although most of you rarely touch the second channel. Do let me know why, if you will.

Just wondering about a few odd things. Why some people act the way they do.

If anyone wants to offer some insight, regardless of your background, comment!

Perhaps we can discuss a few things.

There have been times that I have crossed the line of decency, often without realizing it. I believe, THAT is what makes us human.

We're all prone to making mistakes, some of which others would hardly consider forgiving. But sometimes, I think we should be more acceptive of ourselves.

Having read the rant of a certain Dark KOF made me realize that too much humble pie is JUST as lethal as having too much arrogance.

Yet, occasionally, we're guilty of doing that, either consciously or unconsciously.

It has been difficult adjusting to 24 years of my life-span here on Earth, and there are days that I can get up and praise the Creator, and days when I feel so low that I need a lot of help to get me out of my messes.

Only too true, X. I've noticed that your emotional seal has begun to break.

Saviour-V glances round to find GemWing nearby...

There was a time I thought that emotions were a liability, for they caused pain, and untold hardship. It took a long time for me to appreciate the other side of human emotions, GemWing, but I fear the day that I wake up to find myself considerably less than a human than I already am.

Stay up, X. There may be limited time to do the most important things, but you CANNOT afford to wallow in self-pity for too long. Unless you hold out your hands to embrace the beauty of this world, you may never understand it. Ever.

Ahh, but there are times this heart can be terribly cold and distant. I hope that I can find someone to stay by my side, and warm my heart once again.

GemWing, perhaps you may be my creation, but if something unexpected occurs, seek someone else who may help you.

Don't say that, X. You're more physical than I am. You should have more power than a mere Guardian Spirit.

I'm trying hard to believe that sometimes.

GemWing looks at Saviour-V sadly...

Trust yourself, my love. Only you can do it.

GemWing teleports out, leaving Saviour-V on his own...

All right. YACCS' comment-boxes have been effectively removed, as of this post.

We'll see how things go from here.

(In other words, start commenting, and let me see some opinions!)

^_^;;

Well, no one seems to be commenting. As usual.

Could be that two comment-boxes ARE confusing, no doubt. Plus, there's an odd bug that hides any commenting efforts made. In either type, I might add. I'll see what I can do about that detail.

Anyhow, not all was rosy with Merdeka Day 2004. 47 years of independence, and YET:

1. Garbage is still something we have to deal with, the morning after. Sickening. KLCC on Merdeka Day was proof of our irresponsibility. I can attest to this, because I was there at 8.00 a.m., 31st August 2004.

2. Crime rates, drugs, and rape cases still dog the local media. Sadness all round, especially for those that have left us.

3. Our Olympic athletes STILL got blown away by the competition down in Athens. Evidently, Athena's knowledge hasn't fully rubbed off on them. Or on us, in most cases.

4. Self-censorship is a dream, for our so-called "well-meaning" Malaysian government INSISTS on covering up anything controversial from our "naive" eyes. Guys, we're not as naive as you think. It doesn't take an expert to find out that most translated Japanese comics have some bits of nudity and/or violence, so why do you insist on using a poor correction fluid job to mask all that?

5. We force our kids to join the National Service, instead of letting them gain patriotism in other ways. Frankly, if even my Nigerian friend could say that, what of everyone else?

Therefore, it's up to us to change how things are run around the world. Or at least, in our own country. Otherwise, such things will only ensure that "Keranamu Malaysia" will come up a 5th or 6th time.

At least the first 2 times had meaning. The rest, however, are proof that we've just been recycling ideas (and doing a poor job of doing that, by the way) and NOT coming up with anything worthwhile.

We have to wake up. Really.

Oh, and the above 5 are just a few things among many others, but these are more relevant to this entry at hand.

Also, Athena's the Greek goddess of knowledge. Not related to any other religion, but still...you'd have thought we'd have learnt something after those 47 years.

Ye olde trade-off. Seems like Blogger's put up a Google Searchbar.

And for some strange reason, it's affected my background image AND the Merdeka post I made previously.

Anyway, just ranting. If anyone manages to see today's date in this post, and the Phoenix image that makes up my background, let me know.

31st August 2004. 47 years of Malaysia's independence.

What happened a day before, you might ask?

Flashback: (30-8-2004)

A few days earlier, a close friend of mine, Cassy, invited me over to her birthday party. So, on that day, after classes ended at 17:00 Malaysian time, this is what happened:

1. Walked all the way back to my apartment (reached there at about 17:30 or so).
2. Took a shower and a change of dress (done by about 18:00).
3. Dashed to the nearest LRT station (Sri Petaling) and took the train down to Masjid Jamek (got there around 18:30).
4. Found that the Masjid Jamek's 2nd interchange was shut on one end of the road, so I had to get to it from the other side (done by 18:35 or so).
5. Took the train down to KLCC, and the Mandarin Oriental hotel, where Cassy was waiting. (reached there by 19:00).

One word: VA-ROOM!

Fastest effort I've ever done.

As for the events after that, well....I enjoyed a buffet dinner at Biba's Cafe in Mandarin Oriental, with Cassy and company. Lots of great stuff, but special mention goes to the cod fillets and the pasta I had (with beef bolognaise and carbonarra sauce to boot).

Later, we adjourned to Cassy's room, where some of us spent time playing with her X-BOX (most of the guys went wild over DOA: Extreme Beach Volleyball) and Wayne's PS2 (King Of Fighters: Maximum Impact. Mingnon Beart is my NEW Athena...^_^;;). Some of the others went sight-seeing near KLCC, just to kill time before 23:00.

And then, it came. The final hour when Malaysia would be celebrating her 47th year of independence, and when Cassy would be a year older. We waited for the final ten minutes. The atmosphere was tense. Everyone was waiting for the fireworks to come up.

"10....9....8....7....6....5....4....3....2....1....HEY! Where's the fireworks?" said Cassy, a disappointed look on her face.

"There's going to be a riot in Malaysia if they forget the fancy lights this season," she added, a bit disappointed.

10 minutes later, after some patriotic songs from the crowd gathered round the KLCC (which we saw on national TV), we heard fireworks alright. On the WRONG side of the hotel.

Which caused us ALL to rush out from our room on the 23rd floor, board the lift, and stop at the 3rd floor. And, of course, run out to watch the dazzling display. Never thought you could make firework hearts. First time I ever chased a fireworks display in my life. Magnificent stuff, albeit a bit deafening.

That over, we took the lift back up, and then Cassy got a call from her Mum, a few rooms away. The birthday cake was ready for the birthday girl, but we weren't going to make it easier for her to JUST blow out the candles. Oh no!

Her best friend (I think) stuffed one candle into the cake, and Cass had to pull out the candle with her teeth! Of course, two people (her younger sister being ONE of them) dunked her INTO the cake a little, so once she finally pulled it out, she painted their faces with the chocolate icing! Heh.

Later, some of us went clubbing, while some of us stayed in Cassy's room and played off the X-BOX and the PS2. I was with the latter crowd, of course. After a while, she came back from the club, a little exhausted, and collapsed on the couch until 3:00 a.m. or so. That was when we noticed that the air-conditioning was faulty, so we had to call the repairman to fix things up.

Of course, she told 5 of us to leave momentarily while the guy was coming up, so, at about 4:00 a.m., strange sounds could be heard skulking through Mandarin Oriental's hallways.....the Chicken Demon was on the loose.

After a while, we finally got word that things were OK, so we headed up. That night, we all slept in one room. Yep, that's right. 10 guys and a girl, all splayed out in odd positions throughout the whole hotel room. Except that Cassy had rights to the bed, or some of it, at least.

Got up at 8:00 a.m. As I later observed, it looked like a murder had taken place. I mean, there was even a "corpse" in the corner. Of course, yours truly was also not immune to that situation.

Rushed back to Bukit Jalil after a slight adjustment to my hair, and came round here to get a few things done. Should've stayed for breakfast, though.

Saviour-V sighs...

All in all, it was the finest day of my life. A day I get to be young, for once. It's an experience to remember, and it's something that reminds me that I'm still human, no matter how much I try to deny it.

Thank you, Cassandra. Thank you for your kindness.

Now that I've given Blogger's new features a BIT more scrutiny, I've found that NOT everything is perfect, but it's just me.

If you were wondering why my earlier comment had a different font, it was due to the font Blogger assigned to it. Might be useful later on, though, but right now, I've changed its font back to normal.

Additionally, there's a new Blood Phoenix member that'll be with us. A certain Xahra Spears. Or XS for short. Welcome to the team, milady.

As for me, I'm just coming to terms with a number of things. Emotions seem to be both an asset and a liability. Therefore, I cannot discard them entirely, although there was a tendency to do so a few days ago.

Aside from that, I have almost given up hope on finding a host body for GemWing, but I know that I must persevere. Somehow, I'll get one.

GemWing teleports in. Her comforting presence is sensed by Saviour-V, who smiles and turns to face her...

Ahh, my dear GemWing. I knew you'd come round when I mentioned your name.

Indeed. You'll require a lot of effort and faith to help me out. I'm really sorry for troubling you with that selfish request of mine, though.

No worries. Besides, having a physical GemWing might make things a bit more enjoyable along Life's highway. It's a bit lonely here, even with you around. I mean, you being a spirit and all that.

GemWing smiles back at Saviour-V.

But I really thank you for putting up with me. Not many can do that.

Like I said, no problem. Just give me a few good bits of advice here and there.

As long as you're willing to listen, that is. Seems that it's not too often.

Lots of stress there. You know why, right?

Half of which is your own doing. How's your progress in Dim and Jumper Two? And your FYP, as well?

Saviour-V glares at GemWing, who tries - and FAILS - to stifle her laughter...

Well, really! Must you bring THAT up?

Saviour-V looks thoughtful for a moment...

But y'know, you've got a point there.

Didn't I say so? Pay close attention, Saviour-V. You do have the potential to succeed, but you must justify your cause with effort and faith.

Luck's got nothing to do with this, eh?

Uh-uh. No-sir-ee.

Very well. I'll do my best to heed it.

You'd better. There's about 46 days left to the FYP's D-Day.

Too true, that.

I think I've harassed you enough. I'll be off, now. Oh, and to Miss Xahra Spears, may your employment be fruitful. We're counting on you.

GemWing grins at Saviour-V, and blows a kiss at him, before teleporting out...

Indeed.

Current Music: Combustion (Rockman Zero 2: Remastered Soundtrack Album).

See if you can find this soundtrack in Malaysia, comrades.

NOTE (4TH NOVEMBER 2022): This post, originally posted on 30th July 2004, has now been edited to update one URL, and to delete another URL because the site it once linked to is no more. If you do manage to find the pictures of those cool-looking Chinese zodiac animals, do let me know, and I'll put up the alternate source. Better check out this place quickly, comrades: "Ironing Out Blood Impurities", a Wired.com report. Looks like an automatic healing system is almost in the making. Let's hope the technology can be put to good use. Also, it looks like Blogger's undergone another revamp. That means new options for me, and a bit more interactivity down here. Let's hope things keep improving. - EDITED SECTION START! - The next item used to come from an offensive site, but as of the 4th of November 2022, when I revisited this URL, it was apparently shut down for good. What was it, you ask? Well, it was: The Twelve Animals Of The Chinese Apocalypse. Excuse the odd way of putting it. I meant to say something along the lines of "The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse", but these animals need NO horses. Besides, one of them's a Horse in his own right...sharp teeth, too. Maybe I should grab all 12 pictures and make a quiz or something, considering that my visitors are few, and that comments from them are even fewer. - EDITED SECTION END! - Which brings me to something I'd like to re-iterate: there's 2 comment-boxes beneath each blog item I post up. Either one or both should show up, depending on your browser settings. Do write something, OK? Aside from that, I'd like to elaborate a bit on an ol' tale. Still remember my "Of Fish And Fishermen" entry? Well, down in Bukit Jalil, there's a river that cuts through the general area. Not sure if there's any fish there, but someone was there, so it's a sign. Let's hope he managed to get some fish instead of mud; I saw him pull out a net's load of the stuff earlier on. Also, for your reading pleasure: The U Project: Supremacy, a Love Hina fanfic. For those of you who've read the Love Hina manga before, this is an interesting change of pace, but even for those who haven't, this is worth a good read. Anyway, got to leave. I'll put in a much better entry soon, I promise you. Current Music: A Stranger Met by the Wind ~From Anti-Soul Mysteries Lab~, (Michiru Yamane - Castlevania Special Music CD). Great stuff.

Just an observation on humans, in general. There's some information regarding the human body, as far as I can remember.
 
Something to do with the composition of an average human being. I mean, the stuff that makes up one of us includes about enough glycerine to make a few bars of soap, enough iron to make up a few nails, and some other materials.
 
When a person dies, all these materials normally return to the ground from which they came. To sustain the next generation that will undoubtly rely on most, if not all, of those things.
 
Which, in my humble opinion, sometimes makes me question why some people prefer to cremate their dead instead of returning it to the ground. Religious aspects aside, I think that it might be the greatest recycling effort we humans could ever do to preserve our Earth, but I believe that some people may disagree with me.
 
I mean, there are other ways for us to contribute towards saving the lives of others. Sure, you could contribute your liver or heart to save a kid, or perhaps a kidney or two to save someone else; just make sure that you know the risks of contributing those vital items while you're still alive.
 
The choice is ultimately yours, of course.

Sometimes, there are some people who tend to misunderstand you without realizing it. And when the sparks fly, you end up taking the critical hits.

And when these things happen, I ask myself, "Is it truly better for me to be alone, instead of finding friends to keep me company?"

But when I think about it, the Pandora's Box entry comes to mind, and I understand, albeit briefly. Experiences are useful, but they only offer a limited amount of insight into something. You have to continously seek out newer experiences, but you don't necessarily need to experience them first-hand.

The words of other people are the experiences that they had when they were still on Earth (or, if they're still alive, their current experiences up to their current point of existance).

To rest on your laurels, i.e. experiences so far, without seeking new ones, will bring you towards gradual mental and physical ruin, a fact I'm aware of, and a fact I'm desperately trying to remind myself of.

I hope that I become more wiser now and over time...^_^;;

Now that I think about it, I admit that I was wrong to assume certain things about some people. Remembering my past blog entries makes me feel like deleting them to cover my shame and embarassment during those times I was infected with foot-in-mouth disease, a.k.a. faux pas for anyone who speaks French.

But then again, I think that it's better for me to leave them be. Just to remind myself that I'm still human, even though there were (and sometimes ARE) times when I wanted to become a GOD.

I'll settle for being a human, but that doesn't mean I'll stop seeking perfection. It's a natural thing for anyone, IMHO. We all want the best for ourselves, right?

GemWing watches from the top of a high cliff, far away from Saviour-V....

How true, Saviour-V.

....and grins momentarily, before she teleports out....

OK, here's post #2.

Ever heard of Pandora's Box? Well, if you haven't, allow me to tell you about the legend.

GemWing teleports in....

Do tell 'em, Saviour-V....I haven't heard that tale in a long time.

GemWing walks towards Saviour-V, and sits down on a levitating disc that she had conveniently summoned earlier...

Anyway, let's continue.

At the beginning of the world, there were no adults. Just kids, playing happily. They neither had our worries, nor our fears. And they thought that life couldn't get any better.

But that changed one day....

Two of the kids, a boy and a girl, were intrigued by a mysterious box, left behind by an even more mysterious stranger a few weeks ago. In fact, mysterious voices were heard from within the box, begging the two kids to open it.

Although the boy repeatedly told the girl not to even consider OPENING the box, temptation got the better of the two of them, and they opened that box!

And they instantly regretted it.

For once that box was opened, many insects flew out of the box, and began to sting them, and all the other children! These insects were no ordinary ones, though; they represented Pain, Anger, Fear, and many other negative emotions that we humans are famous for.

After a long time, those fiends finally flew away, leaving everyone in considerable pain. But it wasn't over yet, oh no! One MORE voice begged the children to open the box once more.

And although they felt reluctant to open it again, having been stung before, they were enlightened enough to open the box a final time.

THIS time, a fairy flew out of the box, and began flying around the injured children, sprinkling healing magic to heal them all. That fairy, by the way, represented many positive emotions, but her greatest association was that of HOPE.

And HOPE is what we have to believe in, regardless of the circumstances.

For every day, we come across many such boxes. These are Pandora's Boxes.

And when we come across them, we have the choice of either opening them, or leaving them alone.

Either choice has risks.

Should one choose to open one such box, that person must be willing to accept the effects resulting from that box being opened. Regardless of whether they may be good or bad, that person will gain experience from understanding the contents of that box.

Should one decide to leave a box alone, that person may become less wiser than if he opened it. If that same person is unwilling to open ANY boxes at all, he will become less human as a result.

And these Pandora's Boxes have existed ever since we came into existance. The decision to make a new friend is worth a box in its own right. Even when a new technology or thought comes round, that box is still there. If you are willing to open that box, you must be willing to take responsibility for it.

So, are you willing to open these boxes?

If you're not willing, then you'll lose out. Both you and I know this, Saviour-V.

Indeed.

Anyway, thanks for the story. Hope everyone here learnt something new.

GemWing gets off her seat, grins at Saviour-V, and teleports out...

I hope so.

Blog updates a little to slow for ya, comrades? ^_^;;

Sorry, but I've not been able to get online lately. Apparently, some places hate my lap-top's Wi-Fi card. Which explains why I CAN'T seem to log into TM NET's Petronas Hotspot in Section 7, Shah Alam.

So this update's a bit subdued, no thanks to their half-reliable PCs.

Anyhow, last Monday night, my old schoolmates invited me to attend a dinner at a restaurant in Port Klang: Medan Muara Ikan Bakar. And if you understand enough Malay, roast fish is just ONE of the items on their menu.

Of course, if you want the best fish, you'd have to catch it yourself. That explains why one of my friends had scratches from one or two fish bites (or stings) when he finally sat down at the dinner table...^_^;;;

Food was OK. Special recognition goes to the fried squid - although I normally eschew squid, that dish was great - and the roast fish. With a bit of sour sauce to add a bit of flavour to it.

Oh, and don't forget the vegetable soup. Lots of veg. Nice. Of course, I prefer Japanese misochiru soup over that, at any rate.

The only thing that really made this meal LESS than memorable was the fact that it was a STAG affair. That's right, no girls...*sigh*

But it was moderately OK, overall.

Seriously, to any Hira'kians reading this blog....CAN'T WE HAVE AT LEAST 5 GIRLS WITH US DURING OUR TRIPS AND EVENTS?

It's starting to get rather boring, somewhat.

Apart from that, I got a comment from Steven Foong in response to my comment on his article HERE.

Thanks, comrade SteveF (OK, so I flouted my earlier quotes, but forgive me), but I'm not much of a Malaysiakini fan. Still, your words have merit, unlike the words of a not-so-cute doggie. Now, that's more fangs than cuteness, IMHO.

Obviously, that other person missed my comment in your blog,. Moderation. That's the key to success. Besides, that guy should realize that gaming is serious business, nowadays. RM2 billion, if I remember right. In as much as we can speculate on the positive (or negative, as cuteDoggie has done), it's up to us to decide.

I think I'll post up another post in a while. Just a reflection.

OK, so the blog-skin update hasn't happened YET, but I'm working on that little detail.

In the meantime, check out the following URLs:

1. Wikipedia's description of Trouble Windows

2. Trouble Windows Translations

3. Now, if the above manga was made into an anime....^_^;;

...and you'll understand what's currently interesting me at the moment. Since I've got Windows XP, guess which OS-tan (OS girl) I've got? ^_^;;

Anyway, that blog skin change WILL happen - once I figure out the code, that is.

EDIT: Well, you obviously noticed the background. That's due to the Blogskin code I got. Credits go to Anissa and her friend RiverWanderer.

Nice phoenix there, you two. I owe you one.

Now to get on with the rest of the blog-skin code.

Yesterday was great. We went to Hulu Langat, in the thick of Selangor. Lots of trees, and not a single petrol station in sight.

Why, you might ask?

Because our Uncle Jaafar had invited us (my family and a few friends) over to his HUGE fruit orchard (7 acres of fruit trees, according to my parents) for a fruit-fest. And to sweeten the deal, just after we had brunch (around 10:30 a.m. Malaysian time), he pointed out the river just a few metres away from his house, and we wasted no time in changing our clothes and going for a dip in its cooling waters.

Or LONG soak, in my case. Along with my first brother, his girlfriend, and a friend of mine, whose name will be withheld for the moment...^_^;;

Oh, and don't forget my 2 younger brothers. Busy fishing, and getting their feet wet, although the aforementioned people above gave them quite a soaking! Heh heh.

Also of note was the heart-shaped durian that we picked off from the trees on the other side of the river. It really looked like a Valentine's heart. Quite odd, indeed.

But notably, the orchard itself was immense. Lots of fruits. Just great.

In fact, we even brought some home, especially the lemons. They're good for lemonade, and seasoning for some dishes, too...yum!

Also, later that night, we celebrated Father's Day at a restaurant a few kilometres away from Bukit Jalil, and that's when Mimi (yes, that's my earlier friend there) and I gave Dad the presents we had decided to buy for him.

He was quite happy, I must say. And I'm glad that he was. He's the best father anyone could have.

Thanks, Papa.

Creamed. BADLY.

Round One went to the FYP Assessor. Must not lose the last round next time.

But at least the assessor was kind enough to point out my misses. Mr Nolan (nolan AT apiit DOT edu DOT my), I owe you one. Thanks a lot.

Now at least I have some idea on how to hone my aim. Need to do a lot of interviews, and more research. Anyone know of any successful game developers I could talk to?

Elsewhere in the world, our old friend Raed is having trouble in Iraq. Life after Saddam is STILL no cakewalk.

Sometimes, I wonder how I manage to paint myself into these corners....

1. One GUIW Project.
2. One OT Final Exam.
3. One Final Year Project Midpoint Meeting.

And my moonlighting as a part-time businessman.

Heh. Guess it's proof that I need to mature a bit more quickly than I normally do.

Some of you might be wondering whether I happen to have a few girl-friends around or not. Well, most of them are normally just friends. Never had a romantic relationship in my life for real, although I've had something that felt like one.

Both sweet and bitter at the same time. I would've wished for us to be together, but there are many twists and turns in any love story, and mine ended a bit abruptly. Sort of.

But whether I can find love again is entirely up to me. I mean, a few online romances are a good start.

Getting back to the real world, I'm busy on a certain Java project, and I could use some specifications on MIDI. Musical notes never appealed to me; I normally play by ear.

Well, does anyone have a clue?

EDIT: Forgot to add my current music....and a new link to the Frequently Accessed Zones. Check it out there, or in the Current Music entry.

Current Music: Rush 'n Attack - OverClocked Remix (original composition from OverClocked Remixes)

We picked up on an old friend.

Nasyrah, a.k.a. Narusegawa Naru.

A-hem, in case you were wondering, a pseudonym's in use here, but this girl shares the same initials, minus the STRONG punch the real one did.

Of course, if she was just as harsh as the real Naru, I'd be in Jupiter's orbit in 5 seconds flat...^_^;;

Anyway, I've got a lot of things to do. GUIW tutorials on one side, OT progress unknown, DIM assignment OWED (RATS!)...and don't forget that Final Year Project Midpoint Meeting...argh!

Maybe I SHOULD get a punch from NN here. A trip to Pluto would be great around now...^_^;;

Current Music: Obsession - (Seiken Densetsu 3 - Track 2-19, from the SPC set picked up from SNESMusic.org)

You need WinAmp 2 and the SNESAmp plug-in (plug-in's from the above site), or you could try WinAmp 5, though I'm not sure if the plug-in will work for that version. Good luck.

A few things occurred within the past few days. Here's a rundown:

1. While I was on holiday at home for 4 days (from 30-4-2004 to 4-5-2004), my Nigerian friend, Asa, fell ill. Fortunately, he managed to SMS me in his condition, saying that he had a fever and he couldn't move his legs. I returned to my apartment with my Mum and some medicine in tow, and found him much sicker than the SMS mentioned. After passing him some medicine, we managed to take him to a hospital far from my apartment.

And the diagnosis? Viral fever. And RM60 as consultation, gone.

My verdict? Another friend, who accompanied us to the hospital (and gave us directions there) said that it seemed like malaria, and was quite furious when the doctor mentioned that it was just viral fever. Actually, it wasn't just because of the diagnosis, but because of the prescription: Paracetamol VS my Dad's Ponstan. The latter is much more effective than the former, by the way. Also, the fact that her Medical Certificate was not made out for 3 days, but only for 1.

However, we took the other doctor's drugs, but we told Asa to only take the Vitamin C tablets from the other doc, and Ponstan from us. Thankfully, he recovered fully within 2 days. But his story does not end there.

2. On the morning of Friday, 7th May 2004, Asa LOCKED himself out of his own room by accident; he only realised that he did only after he took a shower.

So it was quite a joke to see him sitting on the couch, in a towel, waiting for help to come. I came to his rescue again. I called up APIIT (our college) and asked them if they could send for the back-up keys. They said that we'd have to wait a while. Called up a 24-hour locksmith, and ALMOST said "Yes, we need help," until I heard his RM60 price-tag.

Ouch.

So...an hour later (and a class gone for poor old Asa), APIIT 's emissary of hope came round, and unlocked the door.

Asa learnt TWO important things that day:

i. Always make a spare set of keys, and keep it someplace nearby JUST in case you lock yourself out of your room. Or anyplace else.

ii. Never put your cupboard too close to the door, ever. As it happened, Asa pushed the door back against his cupboard, inadvertantly locking the door in the process (push-button locks are a bit RISKY), and when he closed the door, voila! Instant humiliation.

I did feel sorry for the poor guy, but that second incident WAS avoidable. So, I got in a few cheap laughs while I was calling APIIT.

So, I hope this little lesson helps those who're about to end up in a similar fashion. Trust me on this.

GemWing's back, comrades. In truth, I never really lost her; it's just that I kept her presence deep down within my heart.

I guess that since she is a part of my personality, I can never truly lose her, UNLESS Fate decides to make me forget about her completely. I hope that never occurs, for I might be less than complete if I lose her.

Thinking about others is always a difficult task to perform, and thinking in two personalities is even TOUGHER.

Anyway, for the support that some people have shown during those trying times, I sincerely thank you all.

I'm not out of the woods though; there's still a lot to worry about. Wish me luck.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, Dhora's birthday is coming up soon, so do wish her a Happy Birthday. (and yes, Miss Dhora, many regards of the day to you, once it comes, I mean....^_^;;;)

Seems that since GemWing has lived without me for a brief amount of time, I now have to cope without her by my side. And all I had to do was merely isolate her for a brief moment.

Seems also that my desire for living has also diminished to a certain extent. It seems much more difficult to awaken my mind from the deadening pull of jadedness. And I've wasted too much time doing useless things; too much activity, not much PRODUCTIVITY.

GemWing's advice, counsel, and discipline are what I may need to stay focused, and SURVIVE. Assuming she returns in time.

Saviour-V falls to his knees, his head in his hands, as an alarm sounds out the following warning:

TIMER SET. MIND DETONATION WILL OCCUR ON SEPTEMBER 22ND, 2004.

As you will later observe, I have added a new link. The Castlevania Dungeon is where I've picked up my new music.

Planet Mega Man has been cutting albums off its site to conserve bandwidth.

And what about me, you might ask? Well, I'm a bit swamped with that Final Year Project, but I'm still alive to tell the tale. Hope I stay that way...^_^;;

Current Music: "Cross A Fear - Stage 2'" (Dracula X: The Rondo Of Blood - Track 05, Disc 1). This tune never made it to the Konami's SNES hit Super Castlevania V, a.k.a. Dracula's Kiss. Quite an interesting theme, this.

Age is one thing that keeps catching up to us. Unless we make the most of it, we are the ones who'll ultimately lose to it. So don't cherish your birthdays for too long; another year's just passed you by, and another one's just started.

That aside, my own birthday's coming up. I've gotten a few things prior to it though - a new Acer notebook and a 128 MB memory stick. Those items should help me immensely with my project work, and a few extra things on the side...^_^;;

Insya-Allah, things should improve a bit round here.

Oh, and if anyone's interested, I'll be 24 this March 7th. Well-wishes and presents are welcome, everything else, well....we'll see.

OK, gentlemen, if you will now direct your attention to the left-hand side of this blog, you will now see a set of links.

Miss Ayshy is going to get rather angry at me for stealing her code...

Saviour-V grins as he twirls a floppy disk on his right index finger...

...but I have my reasons. In other words, I haven't touched HTML in quite a while, but the nature of the Net allows me to pick off anything I lack. Knowledge is power, and there are many ways of acquiring it...^_^;;

And as you can tell, Blood Phoenixes are a rare lot. Rare in terms of blogging, and rarer still in the information that they may possess. You never know what you might obtain from them. But ask wisely, and your requests may be granted.

Current Music: "Our Blood Boils - VS Sigma 1st" (Rockman X7 Original Soundtrack - Track 18). Blame it on Nitro's pseudo-rock image...^_^;;

Still in Bukit Jalil at the moment. Trying hard to figure out Java from the lecturer's faulty code...^_^;;

And there's less than a week before that assignment, another one, and a Project Proposal Form, are all due.

Tough run, this. But, I've got to get through it, no matter what.

Current Music: "Code Crush", by Rina Aiuchi (Rockman X7 Theme Singles - Track 2). The intro to the Japanese version of Mega Man X7. Good music, not so good game, unfortunately....>_<;;;

The usual place for this tune, and MORE!

I have returned.

Previously, GemWing informed you all of my previous absence from this place.

In truth, each of us has a certain reason for living, but there are times when this reason (which later becomes a conviction over time) is shaken by its roots, which forces us to question it.

That is what occurred. Thankfully, the situation is more or less resolved, thank Allah.

Of course, I can't let my guard down; I'll have to increase my efforts to make this year a very good one.

To those who commented in my Tag-board, I sincerely thank you for the encouragement. To the one who talked to me, your words were chosen wisely, and I thank you for them. To my parents, I hope Allah blesses you both, and I also hope that He will allow me to continue receiving your valuable lessons on life, whether specific or general.

To those that have previously doubted, scorned, or insulted me, directly or indirectly, I thank you. For your words may have a ring of truth to them, but even if they do not, at least I know how NOT to address your needs. If you meant well, may Allah bless you; if not, may Allah forgive you.

After all, we only have ONE life on this Earth, and there are no specific manuals on Life itself, so we just have to live our lives by the day, for today, for our future.

GemWing teleports in...

Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse Saviour-V for not showing up today.

At this very moment, he's trying to answer a few questions concerning his life, and his true reason for living. For the past few nights, he has been searching for that reason, by going online, but even I know that he may not find it.

He has confided to me that he is worried about losing his sanity, and in the process, me.

I'm worried about him. I hope that he remains intact.

For if he fails to realize that reason, he may not be able to continue life as effectively as he should.

Oh, and to Miss Dhora, although I'm a bit jealous of you and him, do find some time to counsel him. Perhaps that could help him.

GemWing teleports out...

Just about leaving APIIT's computer labs now. Want to know why?

This is why.

This will effectively remove 10 years off your life unless you know how to get out of the place.

Good luck!

Still intact after today's affairs. A bit loopy, but intact.

Sometimes, loopiness helps. Take the second post below this one, for example. You've got a call for awareness round there. A sort of wake-up call, for those willing to listen.

And sometimes loopiness can have NASTY results. The post just below this one is one such example. At that, you'd think I'd know better than to post on things like that.

But I think that both posts illustrate the parts of my humanity. What makes me human. In as much as I would like to be an equal to God himself, I realize that only He has the right to his position.

He created us with certain strengths and weaknesses, to allow us to understand ourselves before attempting to understand others and Him Himself (that's no typo, there). If he created us with full perfection, we would not learn much from that.

He created us to be human. Neither angels nor animals. However, depending on our actions, we may either be able to surpass His angels, or be MUCH WORSE than animals.

Although we humans have a tendency to disregard God for material science and proof, at the end of the day, we cannot run from the realization that He is always around. And yet, some of us still try, but these attempts are futile. For NO one can disregard the presence of God (regardless who you believe in), no matter how much we attempt to deny His existance.

Current Music: "Ciel's Memory _ Truth of Hero" (Rockman Zero: Remastered - Track 22). It's a drama track this time. Think of Rockman Zero as an anime this time.

Add-on to the previous post:

Check this link:

The Guardian's 2003 Blog Awards.

...and check out the entry on a certain Belle de Jour (CAUTION: EXPLICIT CONTENT!).

Everyone's got a story to tell, a standpoint of life seen best from a different / skewed point of view.

Because we humans are unique, and uniformity can be quite BORING...^_^;;

Current Music: "Spark and Shadow ~Power Plant Stage~" (Rockman X Arranged - Track 7). Not too bad on the relaxation factor, this.

Go here:

The Rockman / Mega Man Soundtrack Archive.

First round of lectures for today.

Developing Interactive Multimedia, by Mr. Sugumaran (I met him a long time back), and Object Technology, by Mr. K.T. Yew.

Mind seems to be strangely empty today. As if there's absolutely no feeling in me.

As if I'm a spectre, haunting the Earth, not fitting in with anyone, for they CANNOT see me.

Or it could be the fact that I didn't eat anything much for lunch.

In other news, I saw a HUGE crowd in front of the Bukit Jalil Stadium, around 7:35 a.m. At first, I thought it was for the Asian X-Games, which incidentally starts today, until I noticed the "Program Khidmat Negara" banners all over the place. Oh, and those banners were meant for Malaysia's National Service.

Obviously, a lot of people were going places, and fortunately (or unfortunately? You decide.) I wasn't.

Still, I wonder if I would've fared better in another place, instead of here in Malaysia.

Looking at some aspects, we've got a lot to do. And sometimes, we're not even sure if we can get everything done in time.

In other cases, religion has become an object of satire and hatred. I've been to a few places where religious issues are debated heavily to the extent that name-calling, threatening, and much worse, killing, occur.

And you don't really have to physically kill a person nowadays; stiffling his or her thought processes by abolishing conscious thought is almost commonplace. Plus, there are other ways, which may be beyond the scope of this discussion.

Which brings up one question: WHAT THE HECK IS HUMANITY DOING TO ITSELF?

They're destroying themselves, for lack of a better word.

Saviour-V wheels round to find GemWing, resplendent in all her finery...

And there are times we don't even realize it. GemWing, what do you think?

I'd say that we can only advise others against acting this way, even though we risk being hated by all parties involved in this NASTY mess.

There's a limit to advice, though...

And are you going to give up because no one will listen, Saviour-V?

I KNOW YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!!

Saviour-V is momentarily stunned for a moment, as GemWing continues...

You see, Saviour-V, the words of such people are merely the words of the minority that thinks it's the majority, when in true fact, they're only the minority of an even GREATER majority. There will be people who WILL listen; give humanity its time, and we'll make it, I'm sure.

I hope you're right, GemWing...

Saviour-V sighs exasperatedly...

...because we're practically exterminating ourselves if we allow that minority to pervail.

Remember WHY you're here, Saviour-V. You've got a mission that you must fulfill, and you WILL fulfill it, no matter what others say.

Then, it's up to me, and people like me, to ensure that it stays fulfilled, I believe.

Precisely.

GemWing winks at Saviour-V for a moment, before teleporting out...

There are times I wonder if all our efforts will be enough.

Just reviewing the previous two posts. Corrected them a bit.

And looking at the "Yu" Kanji (Chinese character) below, it reminds me of a true hero, strangely enough.

The Kanji for man, otoko, makes up the lower half of this character. That's the part starting from the "crossed window" and ending with the ka that makes up the bottom half.

The upper half reminds me of either a crest or halo, somewhat.

Now, does anyone here speak and write Japanese well enough? Do drop a comment with your knowledge on the whole Kanji, if you can. I'd really appreciate it.

Besides, I still have to learn a LOT of Japanese...^_^;;

Current Music: "Blazing Internet - Fire Man's Stage" (Mega Man: Network Transmission)

See the previous post below for the URL that leads to the MP3 archive where I found this.

Just got back from a quiz, and here's the result:


Heroic Courage: You are a very brave person who
puts others before yourself, believes in
helping those in need. People would consider
you noble and caring, and someone to always
count on.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm, I never knew. Unmei, ka? (Is it destiny?)

Current Music: "Legendary WWW Area - Pharoah Man's Stage" (Mega Man: Network Transmission)

It's located at the following URL: Rockman / Mega Man MP3 Archive.

And IMHO, it's got a bit of the old music I used to enjoy from Rockman 4...^_^;; Nice pseudo-Egyptian-techno feel, somewhat.

Hotmail's finally become active again, after 2 days of a possible Denial Of Service attack. At least, that's what I THINK happened within that time. Couldn't access my Hotmail within that time.

Miss Dhora / Pearl, thanks for coming by. Believe me, I've found your presence here (and elsewhere too...^_^;;) to be quite comforting. I read your blog, and the blogs of your two friends, but I can only say this to them (and everyone else): HAVE FAITH.

Sometimes, you don't know how Fate will go when it comes to matters of the heart, regardless of whether it's love or otherwise. Perhaps the coin may turn up heads in your favour, or tails against your favour.

RARELY will it ever end up on its side. This is an aspect of Fate reserved for miracles, or acts of God, if you prefer the term. But you never know.

In other news, Monday was Orientation Day #1 for my Degree, and tomorrow will be Orientation Day #2. With regards to the first day, I'd say it wasn't so bad, except that I was really feeling lonely, being on my own for the first time in Bukit Jalil.

Solitude can do strange things to a person...and believe me, singing songs from 80s-style TV shows and advertisements COUNTS against a lonely person, myself included.

It's NOT pretty at all.

Anyway, for those of you intent on listening to music as you read blog entries, consider the following URL:

Rockman / Mega Man Soundtrack Archive.

My personal favourites include "Underground - Tunnel Base Stage" (Rockman X7 Original Soundtrack - Track 5), "Mod Electric Wave - Radio Tower Stage" (Track 6 of the same album), and "Spark and Shadow ~Power Plant Stage~" (Rockman X Arranged - Track 7).

But do feel free to check out the other tunes elsewhere; just don't link directly to the music. Have a heart, comrades.

Degree's going to begin next morning.

And why, might I ask, are you sticking around in a cybercafe when you should be sleeping, Saviour-V?

Saviour-V wheels round to find that GemWing has just appeared...

Let's just say I needed some time to check out an old haunting place...the city of Sri Petaling, where I ended up 4 years ago. The place has changed, evidently.

And so have you, Saviour-V. Don't undermine yourself by living in the past for too long, OK?

GemWing grins for a moment as she says this, and teleports out in a wink!

Point. There's a lot to do.

Oh, and in case Malaysians (or a few Singaporeans too...^_^;;) want to know what time this entry is, it's at 23:07, February 8th, 2004. On a Sunday night, right after I got back to my apartment. I wonder why I ended up in this old cybercafe, anyway...^_^;;

GOOD NIGHT!

Saviour-V yawns, and teleports out...

Just an unrelated add-on.

Sure enough that IRC and other instant messengers can help you meet new people, but human contact is irreplaceable.

Albeit a short one, I'm glad I showed up on IRC for the past few months, even though not much has changed since my last visit a few years ago.

Of course, it also depends on WHERE you search for friends...^_^;;

Otherwise, use these tools merely to bridge the gap between you and your friends, and make it a point to meet them physically. In that way, you will appreciate them more.

Degree's closing in.

Feeling unprepared.

NERVOUS? You bet.

Fear is as natural as it can get. Trust takes a certain amount of bravery to believe in someone, although all signs may point otherwise.

Which is moderately difficult to obtain.

The human spirit still remains an enigma. Some people justify their actions by committing meaningless acts of misery and stupidity, while some just go with the flow, and do nothing at all. There are also the heroes who are willing to make a stand for their rights.

But how can we tell what moves may be made throughout life? That largely depends on the individual. We can only pray that he or she may be given guidance to a certain extent.

A moment of silence for today.

In memory of a friend's mother. May Allah bless her, always.

She died of cancer, at 20:30 Malaysian time, on Friday, 30th January 2004. She put up a valiant fight throughout the 4 years that she ended up with it.

I only received this news around 00:38 Malaysian time today, but I couldn't relay this to my family since I was elsewhere at the time.

From Allah we come, and to Him we'll return.

May she be granted a good place in Heaven.

Just read PE's comment on my previous entry.

There are times when I can convince myself that I'm doing the right thing, but there are times that I end up with foot-in-mouth disease, a.k.a. the dreaded faux pas that occurs a few times.

Sometimes, I can take it, but there are times that I wonder if I really mean what I say. I have been crude to some people, without realizing it until they distance themselves from me for quite some time. And when I do, it's usually too late to apologize.

There are also times that I can make myself worry about the state of the world today, and feel completely drained as a result of that fear. And times when I resist the fear long enough to take a stand, no matter what the outcome is.

Ahh, the wonders of being human. Sometimes, you wonder if your life is being lived as it should be.

Heh. Saviour-V, you know yourself better.

Saviour-V glances round to find the comforting presence of his Guardian Spirit beside him...

Ahhh, GemWing. I was beginning to get worried that you wouldn't show up.

You can't depend on me for too long, Saviour-V. As much as you'd like someone like me, humanity's construction is often imperfect, and that's what makes you all much better than me.

So you heard. Perhaps Uncle Ishak was somewhat correct in his Freudian analysis.

If you desire me too much, you may cease to become human yourself. A human has the usual fears and needs, that require intervention, Godly or otherwise.

Though I wish I didn't have to rely on such weaknesses, GemWing....

Don't you see? Those are what actually STRENGTHEN you. You created me in your own mind, without those limitations, but as a result, I am FLAWED because of my perfection.

So it seems. However, I hope that I can still have you beside me until the choice occurs.

But who can tell? There's still a long way to go.

Yes, indeed.

I can only pray that God will bless you, Saviour-V. You have much to learn before you can evolve fully. Perhaps then, you may find my physical form amongst mankind, and at that time, you'll have realized your TRUE potential.

So saying, GemWing teleports out....

I really hope so.

Looks like active duty's NOT going to last long.

From February 2004 onwards, I'll be studying in APIIT's larger campus in Technology Park Malaysia, in Bukit Jalil.

Strange how I'm returning to Bukit Jalil, after a long time. Last time, I was in a different educational institution, which didn't turn out too well.

And as I consider things now....I think I'm standing at the forefront of a new future. A future that was meant to be mine.

I've fought a lot of battles to get to this year. Not just in my studies, but also in my own heart. After my sister passed away 2 years ago, I've been trying hard not to cry when I mention her name.

But I realize, as per the words of Frodo Baggins,

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?

There are some things that time can not mend."

Indeed. Time DOES NOT always heal all wounds.

Therefore, I must be stronger than I was previously. I must become much more mature than I am now.

If all goes well, this life will become more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

Just got to give it my all. Wish me luck.

Recently returned to active duty for an old friend. My former boss, Mr. Asir.

We're getting a few operations underway, especially a Speed Reading course preview after Chinese New Year, but we need to get a few things ironed out first. Plus the fact that the INPENS Institute's been relocated, and guess who got student recruitment duty?

Not me, but I'm helping out from behind the scenes, so things should be OK.

2004's set to be an interesting year, God willing. Hope I make an excellent run of this year, now that some issues are clear to me.