Saturday, January 31, 2004

A moment of silence for today.

In memory of a friend's mother. May Allah bless her, always.

She died of cancer, at 20:30 Malaysian time, on Friday, 30th January 2004. She put up a valiant fight throughout the 4 years that she ended up with it.

I only received this news around 00:38 Malaysian time today, but I couldn't relay this to my family since I was elsewhere at the time.

From Allah we come, and to Him we'll return.

May she be granted a good place in Heaven.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Just read PE's comment on my previous entry.

There are times when I can convince myself that I'm doing the right thing, but there are times that I end up with foot-in-mouth disease, a.k.a. the dreaded faux pas that occurs a few times.

Sometimes, I can take it, but there are times that I wonder if I really mean what I say. I have been crude to some people, without realizing it until they distance themselves from me for quite some time. And when I do, it's usually too late to apologize.

There are also times that I can make myself worry about the state of the world today, and feel completely drained as a result of that fear. And times when I resist the fear long enough to take a stand, no matter what the outcome is.

Ahh, the wonders of being human. Sometimes, you wonder if your life is being lived as it should be.

Heh. Saviour-V, you know yourself better.

Saviour-V glances round to find the comforting presence of his Guardian Spirit beside him...

Ahhh, GemWing. I was beginning to get worried that you wouldn't show up.

You can't depend on me for too long, Saviour-V. As much as you'd like someone like me, humanity's construction is often imperfect, and that's what makes you all much better than me.

So you heard. Perhaps Uncle Ishak was somewhat correct in his Freudian analysis.

If you desire me too much, you may cease to become human yourself. A human has the usual fears and needs, that require intervention, Godly or otherwise.

Though I wish I didn't have to rely on such weaknesses, GemWing....

Don't you see? Those are what actually STRENGTHEN you. You created me in your own mind, without those limitations, but as a result, I am FLAWED because of my perfection.

So it seems. However, I hope that I can still have you beside me until the choice occurs.

But who can tell? There's still a long way to go.

Yes, indeed.

I can only pray that God will bless you, Saviour-V. You have much to learn before you can evolve fully. Perhaps then, you may find my physical form amongst mankind, and at that time, you'll have realized your TRUE potential.

So saying, GemWing teleports out....

I really hope so.

Saturday, January 10, 2004

Looks like active duty's NOT going to last long.

From February 2004 onwards, I'll be studying in APIIT's larger campus in Technology Park Malaysia, in Bukit Jalil.

Strange how I'm returning to Bukit Jalil, after a long time. Last time, I was in a different educational institution, which didn't turn out too well.

And as I consider things now....I think I'm standing at the forefront of a new future. A future that was meant to be mine.

I've fought a lot of battles to get to this year. Not just in my studies, but also in my own heart. After my sister passed away 2 years ago, I've been trying hard not to cry when I mention her name.

But I realize, as per the words of Frodo Baggins,

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?

There are some things that time can not mend.

Indeed. Time DOES NOT always heal all wounds.

Therefore, I must be stronger than I was previously. I must become much more mature than I am now.

If all goes well, this life will become more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

Just got to give it my all. Wish me luck.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Recently returned to active duty for an old friend. My former boss, Mr. Asir.

We're getting a few operations underway, especially a Speed Reading course preview after Chinese New Year, but we need to get a few things ironed out first. Plus the fact that the INPENS Institute's been relocated, and guess who got student recruitment duty?

Not me, but I'm helping out from behind the scenes, so things should be OK.

2004's set to be an interesting year, God willing. Hope I make an excellent run of this year, now that some issues are clear to me.